I had an epiphany yesterday driving to the hockey arena. The arena has really wonderful people in it, but also very high-energy, competitive, controlling, manipulative people there too. It got me thinking about all the varied personalities on the way there for the second time that day because of our hockey tournament. Continue reading
I leaned forward.
He leaned toward me.
“I see broken people.”
Bruce Willis looked so shocked by this.
“I see broken people.” I repeated.
“Am I broken?” he asked.
“We all are.”
******* Continue reading
It is a foreboding message. But, it is also honest and expected. One day, we will die.
I got an early morning call from where my dad lives and they said he had been taken by ambulance. My first response after I hung up the phone was to notice what I felt in the moment and I felt calm which gave me the notion that my father was going to be ok. Last time he had called and went in by ambulance I didn’t have that ok feeling I knew that it was more serious and even though both paramedics and emergency doctor did not believe me when I said he had a stroke until his tests came back positive. I trust myself. Continue reading
I’m still here.
It is an unusual time for me. I noticed that I haven’t really chatted with any friends. I’m not bothered by it. But, it all happened at the same time which made me notice it. And then I read that you need isolation to have a shift happen in your life. Isolation always felt scary like being alone is the worst thing that can happen, but I’ve learned being at peace by myself is a gift. Continue reading
I went to my second ol’ folks home Christmas party. The first one was at my dad’s and the residents there are more able-bodied. The second one was at my stepmother’s. She has dementia and needed to move into this facility this year. Many participated in the resident’s choir and played bells and tambourines. It was very festive. But, as you look around there is many who are unable to be a part of the activities. Continue reading
I have learned some valuable lessons over my time in searching for answers to this life of mine. And I am going to share them with you and document them for myself. I can tell you theses lessons have all come with pain, tears and great joy but they changed everything for me.
“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” Meister Eckhart
Being thankful for everything you have right now can really keep your heart and mind at peace. If you constantly can see the good in your situation it can make such an amazing difference. The best thing I ever heard when it came to gratitude was that even in our stormiest times that we should say thanks for the lesson we were going to learn. We don’t learn anything from staying safe and even a situation perceived as bad can teach us an amazing part of our self that we are stronger and better then we thought. Continue reading
Your in a meeting for a group project and there’s a lot of good vibes, or so you think, that this discussion is going well and in your favor. But, someone speaks up and questions your ideas or pokes at some of the holes in the plan and you feel agitated. It is some liberal nut cracker who wants things to less bias and all you hear is more paperwork which no one will read. In your mind, you wonder why do they feel like they have to rock the boat here. The holes aren’t a big deal and will be ironed out once we get going. You have the vision and support of enough of these people to see it through. Continue reading
Change. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought. I have changed so much but I was wondering what was the shift and when and where that happened. There has been pivotal moments that I can remember and felt the need to write them down so I never forget.
I remember I had the most bittersweet year of 2012. We had built our house. We had lived in our fifth wheel camper for 110 days. My body physically was in pain. My feet hurt. I had helped dig, hammer, prepared meals, parented and everything in between. It was such a hot summer and the saving grace was that our camper had air conditioning. Continue reading
One night driving home I was feeling sad that my hubby was feeling off. He had a lot on his plate and was feeling the stress and pressure from it. But, I sometimes get the withheld feelings from him. It bothers me. I saw a shooting star and my first thought was to wish for myself, but I asked that his heart would be lightened. I felt that wish was one that would benefit us all if he had a happier heart. And, he did. Continue reading
What happens when you take a risk and be vulnerable? Well, first you get scared, but because you want to take a risk you look at the fear. You can’t face what you aren’t willing to feel. I heard so many statements that made me want to stay small. I know it isn’t rational so I let it go. The worries decreased and then the focus on the goal took over. Continue reading