I have to tell you something about my life. It feels vulnerable but there’s a good lesson in this for me.
I recently had a paint night that I planned. Typically, I like when someone or a business plans the event and I just show up. I then only worry about supplies and not the cost of the space or getting the space ready. But, I did it myself because I was pushing myself to do more. I am trying to create more income to help with all the extras of life.
Self-sabotage. Responsibility. Sacrifice. Vulnerability. Fear. Empty. Lack. And Hope.
I went to a healer for my own healing.
I feel like this may be a last blog and testament of me looking back at my past. I am so ready to move on and let those things go. I thought a part of me has let it go, but as I sit on a spiritual plateau especially after this session. I am sure there will be more, but this felt like the big piece for me. In some ways I knew all of this but I guess I needed to hear it all again. Continue reading
I always used to use that expression, “note to self” when I wanted to remember something. I haven’t used it in a long time and it came to me when I was thinking that I have had a lot of little things come up and felt they were important and didn’t want to forget. Here goes…
Note to Self:
I want to remember that all that has happened was to propel me forward. Even in the darkest times, my biggest failures, my rock bottoms, bad choices and shame happened to me for a Divine reason. At the time, I was in despair, but retrospect has changed me beyond what was possible if only I had good times going on in my life. If you were asked what situation has defined you; the reply would never be the trip to Hawaii it would always be the parts of life that has shaken you up. Continue reading
I am digging at the resistance that comes up in my life. I have struggled in my religion for a long time. I was raised by nice parents that were raised this same way. I didn’t know different until I started to see that others did not go to church or celebrated Christmas with Santa and had Easter bunny egg hunts. I don’t care about those things and don’t think I missed out. It isn’t like my mother tackled the dressed up Santa at the local hardware store and refused to let me get a candy cane from him. There was just a tradition of church in all that we did. Early morning Easter mass to get our basket of food blessed or late night Christmas Eve mass. I found it harder when I was young that I didn’t receive much for gifts and was so lucky that an Aunt would always get me a little fun craft to open. I felt embarrassed to tell my friends after the New Year what little I got after hearing all about their huge piles of toys and clothes. I could have mentioned that I was going to heaven and their toys along with them were going into hell, but it would have killed the game of tag we were about to play. Seriously, I honestly didn’t think of them but of myself. It made me realize that we were different and I wasn’t sure if it was good or not. Continue reading
I chose some cards today for myself and all 3 had the same message that angels were around me. Support, Listen and Archangel Michael. I am supported by the angels, and the messages I am receiving are real that are coming from the Divine and to speak more openly to Archangel Michael that he will take on my burdens. I have received the Archangel Michael card many times. I don’t barely speak to humans about my struggles let alone an angel connected to God. But, every time I get the card I make the attempt to speak with him. You know the first thing I think is that he wouldn’t want to hear about my human worries and then I don’t know much else to say. Continue reading
I leaned forward.
He leaned toward me.
“I see broken people.”
Bruce Willis looked so shocked by this.
“I see broken people.” I repeated.
“Am I broken?” he asked.
“We all are.”
******* Continue reading