The Stories We Tell

Ego – is a false sense of self as shared by Eckhart Tolle. I’ll paraphrase Oprah to acknowledge the ego definition that “nothing, no material item, no position in life, no status, no job, no thing has ever defined who you are.

But, I still fall for it.

The ego comes out of me when I so believe that something is unfair. The need to be right. The need to explain myself to show that this is right. The need to defend myself when someone says I’m wrong. It is when I watch people in power, not just in politics but even in my small community, take advantage of their position to make life better for themselves. They think only of themselves and somehow seem to have and take every advantage. Even in my belief that their ethics are wrong they somehow prove that they are wealthier and more often than not stuff works out for them. I get caught up in that whirlwind that is “so unfair.” That is ego. Oprah tells me that when something happens that is hard that I have to ask “what’s the lesson?” Continue reading

Walls Come Down

*Disclaimer: My life is not dark and dreary. Most of the time I would describe it as neutral, but that is the part of life I am tired of and seek to find more….happiness. The point is to pull down the walls that keep me enclosed.

It is a struggle at times to actively write in my blog. I’m sure there is no one in cyberspace that is disappointed, but I feel it for myself. I’ve mentioned that this blog is like a journal. I go back and read it and sometimes the woman in the post doesn’t feel like me anymore (which is good, letting stuff go) and sometimes she is extremely wise. At times my lack of writing it is because I cannot articulate what I want to say and sometimes I have nothing to say. But, this particular blog has been building up. I have worked on writing it, but the universe didn’t allow it to come to fruition. Until now. Continue reading

Note to Self

I always used to use that expression, “note to self” when I wanted to remember something. I haven’t used it in a long time and it came to me when I was thinking that I have had a lot of little things come up and felt they were important and didn’t want to forget. Here goes…

Note to Self:

I want to remember that all that has happened was to propel me forward. Even in the darkest times, my biggest failures, my rock bottoms, bad choices and shame happened to me for a Divine reason. At the time, I was in despair, but retrospect has changed me beyond what was possible if only I had good times going on in my life. If you were asked what situation has defined you; the reply would never be the trip to Hawaii it would always be the parts of life that has shaken you up. Continue reading

Hey

As I continue on this loving myself revolution I will say that it isn’t anything that I thought it would be. I clearly understand why people fail at resolutions because the things they want to change are tied to things they want to hide. Changing requires us the feelings and thoughts to come up and we have to acknowledge them. But, hiding the pain is why we are stuck in the first place. Continue reading

Update Mid-Month

I wanted to update all of you a week ago. I was on a euphoric-high and wanted to tell you all about it. I was so pumped! It was going to say something like….this positive thinking thing freaking works!! But, I got busy and didn’t have a chance. And then, real life started happening and I don’t feel like I am on such a high now. But, now I feel that this moment is actually more important to update you on. Continue reading

Resolutions to Love

That quote says it all…I vowed to love myself for my resolution for the new year. I technically started on Dec. 30 because I couldn’t wait for the 1st.

I decided that I would not waiver on meditation. I would add a whole bunch of affirmations from Louise Hay’s book, “How to Heal Your Life” and then vow to exercise more often. The affirmations are the kickers because they focus on uplifting and positively changing parts of my life that I feel can’t change because I have created limits on my life from an early age. But, also to just say kind things to myself instead of a put down. Continue reading

Embrace the Shadow

I’ve spoken before about the shadow self. It is where our true desires lurk but have been covered up by the thought of “I’m not enough”. Childhood suggestions and experiences have plagued us into not believing in our self, causing limiting beliefs and otherwise f*cked up our lives.

I listened to Oprah’s podcast with Debbie Ford and was intrigued. I went on the Internet to find out more about what Debbie had to say about the shadow self. It is where our fear lives and where as the great Swiss psychologist C.G. Jung said,Our shadow is the person we would rather not be. Or so we think. Because the shadow self is the part of us that needs the most love and instead we run from it. Continue reading

My Pain for Glory

It was late last night and I left my last blog post hanging. It was late. I am not having a good day. I asked the question, how do I hold myself accountable to my path? I realized that feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable seems to be the only way. And comfort causes more issues which seems so contrary to everything a human wants to feel…peace. I decided that when I feel that way it is just an illusion. Real ups and downs are better for me then just staying comfortable.

But, I don’t want to chase the pain away. I don’t want to push it down. I don’t want to eat or drink anything to calm it. I just want to accept it. I want to look at it and feel compassion and love for myself. I want to let it go and leave my body and fill the space with new passion. Continue reading

A Guide to Divine A**holes

I have a big love of podcasts and today was no different and sometimes it sparks a new thought or sometimes it ties together what the universe has been trying to get me to notice. I have been aware of my wounds and my fears so listening to Gabrielle Bernstein today was another opportunity to look at those wounds and keep healing.

*Warning: if you have an aversion to the word asshole, you won’t like this post… Continue reading