Encounters With Spiritual Guidance

I have to tell you something about my life. It feels vulnerable but there’s a good lesson in this for me.

I recently had a paint night that I planned. Typically, I like when someone or a business plans the event and I just show up. I then only worry about supplies and not the cost of the space or getting the space ready. But, I did it myself because I was pushing myself to do more. I am trying to create more income to help with all the extras of life.

Self-Examination Heals

A healing journey is going to be different for everyone because of life circumstances and what lessons we need to learn. But, there is one thing that is the same for everyone is that our healing begins within. It is me.

When I have spent time in the past being the victim and blaming others it is really annoying when you start having to look at yourself. No one makes you feel guilty, you feel guilty. A person treats you poorly that is about them and then how you respond is about you. At times, if you allow the same poor behavior to be given to you then that is something you are carrying to attract such behavior. Uggghhh!!! Fine. Continue reading

Decade in Review

It’s a New Year. I refuse to do a resolution. January 1st doesn’t start my time to change. I do hope that I can keep up with moving more, eating healthy and being more social. I bought a rowing machine (yay me). I have been out snowshoeing and even organized a bunch of ladies to come out to enjoy the trail. I did a quick snowshoe last night before it got dark. I like it since it is fresh air and enjoying what I can of winter.

I thought I would review the decade. I saw that there was this feed on Twitter on people doing the highlights of all their major successes which is great, but doesn’t feel real. If you never really look at it all then it seems to defeat the purpose of how things changed. 10 years ago in 2010 I was 34. I had all my kids. We were married for 10 years and we’re living in a 3 bedroom mobile home for a family of 5. Oldest child would have almost 8, the middle was 6 years old and the youngest was 18 months old. Yikes. Remembering that reminds me that I found that time hard. I worked a bit to have my own money. I knew I was done with having anymore children. The older girls were in school. Continue reading

Social Media Trouble?

Social media has taken an ugly twist. It reminds me of how sometimes an invention was first created with the intention of good. It began to make life easier, but then just like nuclear power and its capabilities someone says, “let’s make a bomb”. And then what started was one thing turns into our possible demise. Technology is amazing. Smart phones are incredibly smart. But, what started as something to make life easier begins this web of marketing, privacy issues, addiction, spreading lies, big brother watching and of course catch up with friends and community events.

I’m sure when Facebook was created it was just to share and connect. It was harmless. I’m sure Mark Zuckerberg was not twitching his fingers and thinking I will rule the world. It started as a simple idea and then became much bigger than anyone in their college dorm could have believed. Continue reading

After Thought

I wrote 2 very serious and painful blogs that I left in draft. I’m going to delete them. I’ve mentioned that we have patterns and stories we tell ourselves. In those blogs I wrote of my pain and how my expectations were once again thrown down to the very bottom. I felt so hurt over some actions that I felt winded from the gut shot. I couldn’t post it. I felt that I was throwing someone under the bus and it wasn’t worth it. The next day, still in pain, I wrote another one. It was similar but I was starting to come out of my pain coma and started to see a bit clearly. I articulated myself nicely and couldn’t post that one either. Continue reading

Action!

This has been my pattern. Great ideas are born in my mind in private and solitude. But, planting the seed out in public gets my back up. I have the most random thoughts of someone bad mouthing others about an event I might promote. The truth is that they will ignore it and just not go. If I saw someone who I wasn’t interested in advertising for an event I would just pass it on by and not go around telling others not to go. It takes energy to be negative and no one usually cares that much to waste precious time. Why do I self-sabotage? What is behind the fear of trying? I have had the bad moments happen such as no one showing up. I’ve had poor turnouts and great ones too. I think I am past the point that most know I dabble in some meditation, art or healing. It should be no surprise to most people. I shouldn’t feel awkward about talking spiritual. But, somewhere in the recesses of my mind not taking action rubs me the right way in my currency. Do I feel good for a moment when I don’t try? Do I get some satisfaction of being safe? Or staying comfortable? Do I watch the idea float up inside and it flourish in my imagination to watch it wither and die and disintegrate into thin air?

What is wrong with this picture? Continue reading

The Stories We Tell

Ego – is a false sense of self as shared by Eckhart Tolle. I’ll paraphrase Oprah to acknowledge the ego definition that “nothing, no material item, no position in life, no status, no job, no thing has ever defined who you are.

But, I still fall for it.

The ego comes out of me when I so believe that something is unfair. The need to be right. The need to explain myself to show that this is right. The need to defend myself when someone says I’m wrong. It is when I watch people in power, not just in politics but even in my small community, take advantage of their position to make life better for themselves. They think only of themselves and somehow seem to have and take every advantage. Even in my belief that their ethics are wrong they somehow prove that they are wealthier and more often than not stuff works out for them. I get caught up in that whirlwind that is “so unfair.” That is ego. Oprah tells me that when something happens that is hard that I have to ask “what’s the lesson?” Continue reading

Being You: How Hard Could This Be?

We were born and as soon as our soul is placed in our human body we start to forget about our true Essence of what we are to do on Earth. The older we get the more out of touch with our Higher Self we become. We can get easily caught up in the Earthly school and wonder what our purpose is really about.

Then we are given the opportunity to be on the Hero’s Journey. This is based on Joseph Campbell’s from his book The Hero With A Thousand Faces. Joseph never adapted the journey as one that a woman would make. Pffft. Things have changed dear Joseph. But, for the sake of his mythical journey analogy I think it raises the enlightenment of the journey of life. Continue reading

My Healing

Self-sabotage. Responsibility. Sacrifice. Vulnerability. Fear. Empty. Lack. And Hope.

I went to a healer for my own healing.

I feel like this may be a last blog and testament of me looking back at my past. I am so ready to move on and let those things go. I thought a part of  me has let it go, but as I sit on a spiritual plateau especially after this session. I am sure there will be more, but this felt like the big piece for me. In some ways I knew all of this but I guess I needed to hear it all again. Continue reading