The Face of Death

Death.

It is a foreboding message. But, it is also honest and expected. One day, we will die.

I got an early morning call from where my dad lives and they said he had been taken by ambulance. My first response after I hung up the phone was to notice what I felt in the moment and I felt calm which gave me the notion that my father was going to be ok. Last time he had called and went in by ambulance I didn’t have that ok feeling I knew that it was more serious and even though both paramedics and emergency doctor did not believe me when I said he had a stroke until his tests came back positive. I trust myself. Continue reading

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Remembering Life Lessons

I have learned some valuable lessons over my time in searching for answers to this life of mine. And I am going to share them with you and document them for myself. I can tell you theses lessons have all come with pain, tears and great joy but they changed everything for me.

Gratitude 

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” Meister Eckhart

Being thankful for everything you have right now can really keep your heart and mind at peace. If you constantly can see the good in your situation it can make such an amazing difference. The best thing I ever heard when it came to gratitude was that even in our stormiest times that we should say thanks for the lesson we were going to learn. We don’t learn anything from staying safe and even a situation perceived as bad can teach us an amazing part of our self that we are stronger and better then we thought. Continue reading

Unpopular Opinion

Your in a meeting for a group project and there’s a lot of good vibes, or so you think, that this discussion is going well and in your favor. But, someone speaks up and questions your ideas or pokes at some of the holes in the plan and you feel agitated. It is some liberal nut cracker who wants things to less bias and all you hear is more paperwork which no one will read. In your mind, you wonder why do they feel like they have to rock the boat here. The holes aren’t a big deal and will be ironed out once we get going. You have the vision and support of enough of these people to see it through. Continue reading

Soulful Heart

One night driving home I was feeling sad that my hubby was feeling off. He had a lot on his plate and was feeling the stress and pressure from it. But, I sometimes get the withheld feelings from him. It bothers me. I saw a shooting star and my first thought was to wish for myself, but I asked that his heart would be lightened. I felt that wish was one that would benefit us all if he had a happier heart. And, he did. Continue reading

What if

What happens when you take a risk and be vulnerable? Well, first you get scared, but because you want to take a risk you look at the fear. You can’t face what you aren’t willing to feel. I heard so many statements that made me want to stay small. I know it isn’t rational so I let it go. The worries decreased and then the focus on the goal took over. Continue reading

Yes, I Have Regrets


I worked on writing down my goals and desires. I tried to write down the first steps in moving forward and then added some deadlines to get motivated. I faltered there. Ego took over a lot and convinced me that I am crazy for wanting more. I have a good life. I still worked through and wrote it down, but when I stared at them nothing made me feel excited. I flipped the page over and then just wrote down every idea that I have had recently and filled up the page. I felt more excitement. They appeared to be more of a bucket list, but maybe that is what is needed from me. I have so many hopes and dreams and I am not even trying to fulfill them a little bit. Continue reading

Inner Space

There is a space within that resides between your soul and human self. It is the space that I believe is where you can be in best alignment.  You see your human experiences going past you like cars on a train. Emotions rise and fall in that place, but it isn’t held there. Your emotions don’t stick in that space. Your old hurts don’t live there either. But what you do hear is the whispers of the soul which direct you to live your best life. It isn’t directing you to riches, houses, cars, etc. it is pushing you to connecting with others and healing.

How do you get to that space? Continue reading

The Honest Truth

I want to be clear. If I ever give off the impression that I got this whole “life” thing figured out. I do not. I’m sorry if it comes across that way. I would say about half my life I wore a heavy veil over my eyes. I had some natural ability to be a counselor to my friends and trusted my gut without explanation. But, I was heavily shrouded with my outside self and less focused on my true self. Continue reading

Inspiring More Time


I have a routine in the morning and have been doing this for a year. I wake up at 5:15am. I go to the bathroom, grab a glass of water and put on my Bluetooth headphones. I start listening to my meditation while my water boils for coffee. Coffee is made and I sit down and start the mantra and meditation. After that, I drink my coffee. I set the intentions for the day. I then do the reiki self-healing on my own body. I move to the yoga mat and stretch. I do salutation to the suns and ask for the blessings and how can I serve today. I can honestly say that it has changed my life. I wake up that early so that there is no excuses throughout the day that I am too busy. Continue reading

Split In Two

I have a split personality. I have the awareness, spiritual side. That side of my parenting and me as a woman in the world is very calm and peaceful. When she is strongly connected in spirit, surrounded by nature and in harmony she does offer the best advice. She sees her children as these souls experiencing life. She wants them to see themselves as they are and being ok with all of it.

The other side is the ego. It holds the fears. It shows itself mostly with anger, but it has sneaky ways too when I get a great idea and then quickly my brain tells me how I shouldn’t do that. I pass it off as no big deal, but in awareness I realize that was my fears at play. The ego yells at my kids and snots off the lady at the grocery store. It is the reactive place when I am not conscious.

The awareness is starting to be there more and more. Even if the ego starts its rant the awareness kicks in and stops me. I am working on this in my parenting of my children. I am trying to keep it in the forefront that each of my children are individuals and have a purpose here. I cannot impose my dreams on them. I have seen it already in many things. My kids all show athleticism in sports they try. I did too. But, wasn’t allowed the opportunity until I was older to join sport activities. I sent them off to soccer, volleyball, basketball and hockey. There has always been a small voice that says if you did all the training and took them into the elite levels they will make it. Then, the spirit asks is that what they want, or is it what I had wished for?  I have to breathe. Is it my dream for them, or their own?

Is success for them based on my expectations?

It truly is the hardest thing to not force confirmation on them. To just allow them to be there and speak to them when I am in my awareness. I was upset with my daughter the other day because of a website she was on. I yelled at first, but soon realized, no that is not what I want to convey here. I immediately calmed my tone and told her the concern and that I wanted her to understand the stranger on the other side of the computer. Underneath all of that I told her, if you are lonely then lets make plans with your friends, or let’s watch the movie you wanted me to watch with you. I want you to focus your connection with real people and not think that connection will come from strangers. We watched the movie. When I spoke to her in the calm voice and tried to see what the real deal was she said to me, I love you. I know that’s her way of saying thank you for seeing me.

I want to help pave the road and open doors for them. But, I want them to choose if it is the road for them or the door to go through. I want them choosing in their awareness. I want them to remember that they’ve had the power all along and not to let them forget that the awareness is what they were born with. We, as a society, put the limitations and the children forget who they truly are to be. We must let them remember.