We All Need “MORE”

Internal struggles.

I could never really put my finger on what it was that bothered me about anyone pushing me to do my passion or my work and that I had to step up and out to be “more” of my true self. I struggled a lot because the word “more” was them pushing me to quit my job and then I could make lots of money and live abundantly being a spiritual leader even though I still felt like the student. Nothing they said felt good because it went against everything that felt right inside. Continue reading

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Meditation Heals

She’s sitting in a peaceful room. A strong light illuminates from her. It is her soul shining. The walls start out as blank, but as she sits there then words start appearing along with images on the white walls. She wants to look away but she is unable to move. The memories of the past start flooding the walls to reveal all her fears, humiliations and resistance to her path. But, it also showed when she acted poorly to others and caused the same raw emotions for them. The walls went blank again. Her heart had to reckon with all she saw and felt. She asked herself, “Now what?”. A voice responded with, “Honor your soul. Be authentic. Be kind. Be still. It is time to answer your calling.” In a moment the walls revealed amazing moments of gratitude, kindness that she had given as well as received. She understood in her heart that it was those moments she had to make that a constant in her life. She was going to create change and the first place to start was within. Continue reading

The Face of Death

Death.

It is a foreboding message. But, it is also honest and expected. One day, we will die.

I got an early morning call from where my dad lives and they said he had been taken by ambulance. My first response after I hung up the phone was to notice what I felt in the moment and I felt calm which gave me the notion that my father was going to be ok. Last time he had called and went in by ambulance I didn’t have that ok feeling I knew that it was more serious and even though both paramedics and emergency doctor did not believe me when I said he had a stroke until his tests came back positive. I trust myself. Continue reading

Remembering Life Lessons

I have learned some valuable lessons over my time in searching for answers to this life of mine. And I am going to share them with you and document them for myself. I can tell you these lessons have all come with pain, tears and great joy but they changed everything for me.

Gratitude 

“If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.” Meister Eckhart

Being thankful for everything you have right now can really keep your heart and mind at peace. If you constantly can see the good in your situation it can make such an amazing difference. The best thing I ever heard when it came to gratitude was that even in our stormiest times that we should say thanks for the lesson we were going to learn. We don’t learn anything from staying safe and even a situation perceived as bad can teach us an amazing part of our self that we are stronger and better then we thought. Continue reading

Unpopular Opinion

Your in a meeting for a group project and there’s a lot of good vibes, or so you think, that this discussion is going well and in your favor. But, someone speaks up and questions your ideas or pokes at some of the holes in the plan and you feel agitated. It is some liberal nut cracker who wants things to less bias and all you hear is more paperwork which no one will read. In your mind, you wonder why do they feel like they have to rock the boat here. The holes aren’t a big deal and will be ironed out once we get going. You have the vision and support of enough of these people to see it through. Continue reading

Soulful Heart

One night driving home I was feeling sad that my hubby was feeling off. He had a lot on his plate and was feeling the stress and pressure from it. But, I sometimes get the withheld feelings from him. It bothers me. I saw a shooting star and my first thought was to wish for myself, but I asked that his heart would be lightened. I felt that wish was one that would benefit us all if he had a happier heart. And, he did. Continue reading

What if

What happens when you take a risk and be vulnerable? Well, first you get scared, but because you want to take a risk you look at the fear. You can’t face what you aren’t willing to feel. I heard so many statements that made me want to stay small. I know it isn’t rational so I let it go. The worries decreased and then the focus on the goal took over. Continue reading

Yes, I Have Regrets


I worked on writing down my goals and desires. I tried to write down the first steps in moving forward and then added some deadlines to get motivated. I faltered there. Ego took over a lot and convinced me that I am crazy for wanting more. I have a good life. I still worked through and wrote it down, but when I stared at them nothing made me feel excited. I flipped the page over and then just wrote down every idea that I have had recently and filled up the page. I felt more excitement. They appeared to be more of a bucket list, but maybe that is what is needed from me. I have so many hopes and dreams and I am not even trying to fulfill them a little bit. Continue reading

Inner Space

There is a space within that resides between your soul and human self. It is the space that I believe is where you can be in best alignment.  You see your human experiences going past you like cars on a train. Emotions rise and fall in that place, but it isn’t held there. Your emotions don’t stick in that space. Your old hurts don’t live there either. But what you do hear is the whispers of the soul which direct you to live your best life. It isn’t directing you to riches, houses, cars, etc. it is pushing you to connecting with others and healing.

How do you get to that space? Continue reading

The Honest Truth

I want to be clear. If I ever give off the impression that I got this whole “life” thing figured out. I do not. I’m sorry if it comes across that way. I would say about half my life I wore a heavy veil over my eyes. I had some natural ability to be a counselor to my friends and trusted my gut without explanation. But, I was heavily shrouded with my outside self and less focused on my true self. Continue reading