40 year Itch?

My ovaries are getting old I was told today. I’m 39 and I was a bit surprised at the statement. I suppose they are old after 39 years of ovary functioning. Three healthy kids later and they served their purpose. It got  me thinking that this is just one phase of my life. I was born, grew up to expect my menstruation like a great red-ribboned car shaped gift out in the driveway, but turned out to be the itchy sweater from great-Aunt Flo. Yes, the egg machine is starting to dwindle but it is opening up a new door. I call it the forty-fabulous years.

I love this age. I am turning 40 in a month. I love this time in my life. You couldn’t get me to go back to my 20’s to go back to unsure and uncomfortable with my life. Ok, I might go back and grab my body, my energy and metabolism, but otherwise I’m good. I am so much sure about this life then I was back then. The only problem in my 20’s is that I did think I knew everything. Now, I am super comfortable not knowing, but curious about everything.

I’m not super-famous, or a great philosopher, but I do have the most interesting conversations with people in the most common places. Junior high volleyball game. It’s loud. We, myself and a couple other amazing women, had a convo about living your own life, and not worry about how others think, but at the same time not to worry about how everyone else was living their life. We hit on the topic of being supportive of other women and how it seemed that when you wanted to strive to be better why was it hard for others to want the best for you. After the game, we congratulated each other on our good work in our lives. The best part was that it was just a great conversation. Honestly, I seem to strike up those soul-searching, universe shifting, great-minds-think-a-like, inspirational exchanges most places I go. We may not have solved a world problem, but we feel we contributed to each other in a brief moment. In my 20’s I would have tried to convince those women of something, now I understand the significance that each of our paths is for our greater good. No need to convince anyone of anything, but we all just want to be heard, supported and feel like even for a brief moment we are understood.

Here’s to another 39 years, and all the new doors that will open….kind of excited about the doors closing too, especially on Aunt Flo, eventually.

A Dirty Word

I am a feminist. I said it. I actually thought being a feminist meant that I believed in equality for women. I thought that women should have the same rights as men. Wikipedia defines feminist as:

  1. Feminism is a collection of movements and ideologies that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve equal political, economic, cultural, personal, and social rights for women. This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.

Then I have discovered that people’s view of what feminism mean is much different then mine. There is a movement #womenagainstfeminism and I was a bit shocked not because what was said, but by the confusion of what they were belittling and my view on what feminism is all about for me. Quotes such as, “I don’t need feminism because equality doesn’t have a gender.” or “I don’t need modern feminism because I don’t need to be Superior to men in order to feel confident.” or “I don’t need feminism, kill a child is not a right…doesn’t make me more woman…just demonstrates a lack of humanity!!” and last but not least, “I don’t need feminism because I support equality not sexism.”

Let’s imagine we go back 100 years to 1915. Now, in my province of Alberta I would not had the right to vote until 1916 and not until 1919 could we vote in a federal election. I could have never taken a political role either. I’d most likely be married and my husband would be supporting me. I would have few rights. Even if I did work my salary was legally my husband’s property. Just a side note, it took until 1940 for women in Quebec the right to vote. I agree that I support equality, but 100 years ago it was sexism that limited our access to be considered a person. I didn’t have to live back then to realize that to change something that had been in effect for thousands of years was a huge accomplishment.

It wasn’t until after 1880 did a women practice medicine in Canada. I am so pleased to have a female doctor. I guess that makes me sexist since I don’t want a male doctor to look at my lady parts. As for abortion, the comments for the against feminism, seemed to imply that a feminist is promoting abortion. I am not. I believe in choice, which in fact this movement believes in too. So, I would not choose to have an abortion. Am I supporting equality or feminism? Hmm, we do have common ground. I believe women have been given a lot more choices. It isn’t because of ladies gathering around and saying “Oh Martha, look at Susie working in her garden, she knows that Bill likes his supper on the table for 6 o’clock sharp. She planned pot roast. She deserves the trouble she’s going to have if supper is late. Speaking of supper have to run home for Dick, you know how he can be if tuna casserole isn’t piping hot. Tee Hee.” Don’t start on me because, I have been a stay-at-home-mom. I got to make the choice. Thank goodness. Then, I got to make the choice to go to work. Thank goodness for that too.

How on earth did anyone suspect that they got to 2015 without a bunch of hyped up feminists pushing for change? Seriously, if no one took the initiative to say I want the right to vote, to own land or to be considered a person then you wouldn’t even be speaking of choices and egalitarianism. Now they could argue, that they are speaking of “modern” feminism and yes they understand all of the suffragist movement that was labored for so long ago. I tried to find what being a modern feminist was defined as and why it was considered such a dirty and nasty word. I think the best I can define it as that a modern feminist is only associating rights for women, but not as much on equality and focuses to much on being sexist towards men. Being a feminist entails that you are a man basher, baby killer and your muff grows naturally.

What sparked the blog today was that I read an article that a girl wore a shirt that said “feminist” and the school photoshopped it out because of its political ramifications. She was in eighth grade. I thought wow, the word feminist is like having the word fuck on your shirt. Is it really that dirty? Is being a feminist that bad? School Censors Girl's Shirt for Yearbook Photo

My definition is that feminism is what has provided me to express my feelings in a blog without being told that I am not allowed. It is me working at a job that I get paid more possibly then some men or women for that matter. It is having a husband that listens and accepts my ideas. I can vote. I have so many endless choices that I would not have had if the feminist movement had not occurred. I have the choice to reject feminism. I can be subservient to a man or beast. I get to choose all the time. I can make my husband lunch and I can say the next time I don’t have time. I really do believe that feminism is about equality. I also think that if you believe that woman have equality around the globe and that there is still not a fight to fight then there are many women who are still at war that would disagree. I support them. And, I support those that don’t believe it is relevant to them. It is all good, and that my fellow women (and the one man that will read this) is a choice.