The last time I felt normal was the first week in March. By the 9th it was starting to feel different. The news was blowing up here in Canada and then it is just a spiral of school shutting down, businesses closing, lay offs, toilet paper hoarding, etc. You all know what is happening so I don’t have to keep going.
Personally, I had a tough time the first week. My anxiety was up. The world was shifting and it was hard to make sense out of it. I had my job but, the kids had no school anymore. There was aspects of our lives that stayed the same and other parts that felt flipped over. As time has gone on with the next couple weeks I had felt moments of good with fear creeping in here and there. Continue reading
I’ve sat in fear on taking chances or risks because they wouldn’t work out. I have organized events where no one registers or when no one shows up. I have cried in past. Now, I feel disappointed when people promise and cancel. It takes time for me to organize another thing again. In some ways it’s torture. I feel I have lessons to learn and experience to gain but also I feel like a fool. Vulnerability leads to joy (or so they say) but it’s very uncomfortable along the way.
When issues come up in society there becomes a separation of how people behave. The political climate, the coronavirus and toilet paper issues create some definitive lines in the sand. For someone like me, the common thought for all these issues is fear. Fear that life as we know it might change. Put in a new government and it will be better. It’s not better. They made promises and the global markets didn’t change. Or the virus has caused a stir in people buying out soap, hand sanitizer and toilet paper. It makes you wonder if hand washing or using toilet paper was not being done before the virus.