Change is Needed

 

I want to believe that what others think of me it does not matter. But, it is not truthful. I want approval. Taking chances and risks when you have those moments of pushing past your fear does not always result in success. When you dare to try to rise above your fear you do sense there are people upset that you have exceeded their limited expectations of you. It is that feeling they don’t want you to do better and that is largely because they don’t feel enough.

Social Media Trouble?

Social media has taken an ugly twist. It reminds me of how sometimes an invention was first created with the intention of good. It began to make life easier, but then just like nuclear power and its capabilities someone says, “let’s make a bomb”. And then what started was one thing turns into our possible demise. Technology is amazing. Smart phones are incredibly smart. But, what started as something to make life easier begins this web of marketing, privacy issues, addiction, spreading lies, big brother watching and of course catch up with friends and community events.

I’m sure when Facebook was created it was just to share and connect. It was harmless. I’m sure Mark Zuckerberg was not twitching his fingers and thinking I will rule the world. It started as a simple idea and then became much bigger than anyone in their college dorm could have believed.

Giving Up?

I’ve had this week of wanting to give up…trying. I talk all the talk of fighting vulnerability and that I need to take action, but when you take action and then there is nothing that happens with it you question if you are following the right path.

After Thought

I wrote 2 very serious and painful blogs that I left in draft. I’m going to delete them. I’ve mentioned that we have patterns and stories we tell ourselves. In those blogs I wrote of my pain and how my expectations were once again thrown down to the very bottom. I felt so hurt over some actions that I felt winded from the gut shot. I couldn’t post it. I felt that I was throwing someone under the bus and it wasn’t worth it. The next day, still in pain, I wrote another one. It was similar but I was starting to come out of my pain coma and started to see a bit clearly. I articulated myself nicely and couldn’t post that one either.