Ego – is a false sense of self as shared by Eckhart Tolle. I’ll paraphrase Oprah to acknowledge the ego definition that “nothing, no material item, no position in life, no status, no job, no thing has ever defined who you are.
But, I still fall for it.
The ego comes out of me when I so believe that something is unfair. The need to be right. The need to explain myself to show that this is right. The need to defend myself when someone says I’m wrong. It is when I watch people in power, not just in politics but even in my small community, take advantage of their position to make life better for themselves. They think only of themselves and somehow seem to have and take every advantage. Even in my belief that their ethics are wrong they somehow prove that they are wealthier and more often than not stuff works out for them. I get caught up in that whirlwind that is “so unfair.” That is ego. Oprah tells me that when something happens that is hard that I have to ask “what’s the lesson?”
The ego also shows up in me and the stories I tell myself. A person talks to me and without them realizing they hurt my feelings. It was like last night when a client of mine made a remark that they didn’t notice anything different from last time, but until they reviewed my audio recording then something clicked. I got hung up on that they didn’t notice anything after the session. My feelings were not hurt badly, but I knew I had to hear it gently like that to examine what came up. But, I can hear the ego saying things to me like maybe this isn’t your path and you should move on to something else. I calmly reminded myself that this person is coming back to see me. I knew that the pain he was experiencing was already less since he made contact with me. How could I know that? I already had so much come up before I have even seen him. I felt that the lesson was that I had to work on my confidence with healing. I struggle. I have great runs of clients and then I get thrown off. Truth is that he is a powerful soul that needs help. I think they want me to prepare to step up my game. I have researched some things and have spent time meditating bringing in backup spiritual presence to help him move past his blocks.
This story I tell myself to try and remind myself that I am small is not true. There is no true definition of any human capacity that can limit who I truly am. That goes for you reading this as well. I have had a couple recent clients that their story was their biggest issue. They repeated the story of how they were done wrong and then told everyone else so that others would agree with them. That is what Dr. Phil calls currency. You get validated that yes, he was a bum or she is horrible. The nods and concurrent vote that you are right satisfies a need inside of ourselves but only briefly until we have to tell the story again. But, all of this is wasted. We have no control of others only ourselves. We have to accept others where they are.
Ego is only broken when we say, oh there’s the ego in me. I see it coming up. We stop our thoughts from telling the story again and again. How many times do we need to tell everyone that you were hurt when you got dumped? Or that the game was rigged? Or that she’s always had it in for me and screwed me over? It happens again and again. It isn’t needed. We then waste our time carrying the energy of the hurt and anger of an event that you have no control over. I don’t want to be ruled by my past. I want to learn the lesson and grow. I want my children to do the same.
I have to tell myself a better story. I am not who they say I am. I am a healer. I can help. My thoughts have created my future. I am the reason why my life is where it is today. If I want change than I need to do something new. I have the power to do more. I have the power to love more. And so do you.