We were born and as soon as our soul is placed in our human body we start to forget about our true Essence of what we are to do on Earth. The older we get the more out of touch with our Higher Self we become. We can get easily caught up in the Earthly school and wonder what our purpose is really about.
Then we are given the opportunity to be on the Hero’s Journey. This is based on Joseph Campbell’s from his book The Hero With A Thousand Faces. Joseph never adapted the journey as one that a woman would make. Pffft. Things have changed dear Joseph. But, for the sake of his mythical journey analogy I think it raises the enlightenment of the journey of life.
The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
I think a spiritual journey faces the unknown. I know many who want to live in the known; the comfortable area, one of which has been me. I’m clueing in that comfortable is painful in its own way. We waste so much time on nothingness. Excuses. Denial. Our life could pass us by with such little regard that it seems a shame not to stand on the rooftop of our souls at some point and shout out. Do you see me? What the fuck am I doing here? How can I serve? Show me what life has to offer me!
Let’s back up. As children we are raised by parents or other adults and they take care of us at their best level. I say that because if they have fears, limitations, lack of love, judgement and pain they can’t help but pass that on to us. We, as parents, are only able to love the best we can. Ancestral patterns are passed down. Grandmothers and grandfathers passing on their ways down the line. It took me some time to ask myself why I do the things I do. Is it because I want to or is it because it was always done this way? At the same time, our parents teach us to stay small to save us from the pain and judgment they have experienced in life. In their way of protecting us we learn to hold back. Denise Miller says, “We store memories of all parts of us that didn’t receive approval so that we won’t ever have to experience that judgment again. If we put these parts of us away in that dungeon often enough, they eventually stop coming out and we forget about them. I call this part of us the shadow.” I think Denise is right, but the pain we feel if it comes to the surface because of similar situations or issues come up as an adult now we find ways to push it back down. Unaware of us doing it and without knowing why we do.
Later, maybe we start becoming aware of those patterns. We get alerted when we gain 40 pounds and wonder how we ate ourselves into that state. Or we have a moment of what am I doing with my life when you listen to a person your same age pushing themselves out of their comfort zone. What does that voice inside tell us? “It has been stressful. Or she’s always had more energy than me. Her husband helps her more so she can do those things.” Inevitably, you can justify the reasons you are the way you are and push it back down so you don’t continue to feel inadequate and stop feeling bad in wanting more.
Then the pattern keeps showing up again and again.
And here I am asking myself about my excuses. Why do I keep choosing to stay small? Why do I allow time to slip by? Why am I avoiding joy? Or why am I not happy? You feel an uneasiness or a calling you don’t recognize.
I can feel the call.
I am writing down my goals. That is a huge step for me.
I asked friends that knew me well to tell me my gifts ones that I knew and maybe ones that I didn’t see about myself. I have received responses back that make me have to pause and sit with it and receive them. It feels like it breaks you open a bit.
Following through on promises made. I did some emails and such that continue to pursue my visions out of my comfort zone and release them to see if anything will come of it.
Learning to manage my time. Scheduling everything so that I actually do it. Walking/running. Projects. Lists.
Being myself. No excuses for who I am.
Be vulnerable because that’s how you find joy.
To answer the call.
Hello, I’m here.