A lot has happened in the past couple weeks. I struggle with it all because it is terrible things that we have no control over. You cannot wish a different outcome and it is hard for me to hold space for the pain.
My friends breast cancer diagnosis shook me up. She is an important part of my life. She’s my neighbour, sister-in-law, and wine drinking buddy. It appears to be an aggressive cancer and it is possible that it was found early, but will not know the outcome of the lump until middle of March and then with treatments months later. She has family history. I have every hope that she will fight this and overcome. I wonder, why this shows up in her life? Why now? Continue reading
Over the weekend I attended a Cacao Ceremony hosted by a dear friends, one friend for her space and the other for her wisdom. I love the Sunday Soul sessions that my favourite yoga studio offers. I am seriously unable to make weekday/nights work so if I can grab a spot on a weekend event I do it.
I get a lot of ideas and most of them I don’t do. It is a pattern and am starting to get a better understanding of why I don’t do it. Fear.
So, I got a few ideas recently as yesterday and I realized the fear came up right away and then I said but the intuition feeling of “yes” was there. I would make any client or friend listen to it. I listen to it if it is with my safety or decision making process so why can’t I say yes now. Continue reading
I have a history of not asking for what I want and sometimes I would say what I didn’t want instead. So, the universe would provide by my thoughts and actions. At times, it works not too bad. But, other times, I get exactly what I didn’t want. I have examined my life to see why I have a hard time asking for what I want and I felt that it stemmed from being raised in an environment that wanting things was sinful. Gratitude for what you had was enough. But, what is really at the base of it all is that I don’t deserve anything good. It is for others. I should be happy with what I do have even if I’m not. I never became the heroine of my own story because I have been waiting to be rescued and no one showed up. I am always waiting for someone to give me a leg up in some way and it has always been me that has to show up. Continue reading