Risk Vs Failure

Risk taking is not something I do. I can’t quite describe all the reasons that I use not to take chances, but it fits into the box marked safe, comfortable and stable.

And then I do something risky for me and it all comes back to me on why I don’t like when taking a risk leads to failure.

I planned 2 weeks in advance. I booked the space for a meditation/healing class. I felt the nerves and excitement for taking a chance to show my self to others. I posted on Facebook it had several shares and people commented to sign them up. I was messaged about it. I had people committed to come. I was happy.

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We All Need “MORE”

Internal struggles.

I could never really put my finger on what it was that bothered me about anyone pushing me to do my passion or my work and that I had to step up and out to be “more” of my true self. I struggled a lot because the word “more” was them pushing me to quit my job and then I could make lots of money and live abundantly being a spiritual leader even though I still felt like the student. Nothing they said felt good because it went against everything that felt right inside.

My Pain for Glory

It was late last night and I left my last blog post hanging. It was late. I am not having a good day. I asked the question, how do I hold myself accountable to my path? I realized that feeling uncomfortable and vulnerable seems to be the only way. And comfort causes more issues which seems so contrary to everything a human wants to feel…peace. I decided that when I feel that way it is just an illusion. Real ups and downs are better for me then just staying comfortable.

But, I don’t want to chase the pain away. I don’t want to push it down. I don’t want to eat or drink anything to calm it. I just want to accept it. I want to look at it and feel compassion and love for myself. I want to let it go and leave my body and fill the space with new passion.

Sick and Tired

I recently was at a funeral and the preacher asked, are you sick and tired of being sick and tired? It seem like a strange thing to talk about at a funeral but he was trying to get the congregation an option about their difficult lives and think about spending time with Christ. He knows the way. He will lead you to your true destiny. I listened and I thought at the time it did not apply to me. Then it dawned on me days later that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired and not that I am physically sick or not that I am physically tired it’s just that I am sick and tired of being stuck in the same place.