Detox 7-10

I am done the detox. I felt nervous waking up on Day 11. I wondered could I continue with these changes and make it work in my everyday life. I got on the scale and I have lost 8 pounds in total.

Questions of course:

What have I learned about my body over the past ten days? I realized I took it for granted that it would always be there for me. I need to take care of it.

What did I notice or discover about my relationship to food? Sigh. I love food. But, I love it in a way that isn’t healthy. I love it all. I loved the treats. I love cooking. I can still do all that, but in reason.

What did I notice about my energy levels? I would not say my energy levels were high.

This rolls into ….What did I notice about how my sleep affected me the following day? I slept well if I went to sleep on time. I had a couple shorter night sleeps and with no coffee to get me through I had a hard time. I had a few naps which I never take. I felt ok about it, but I realized how much effort to get yourself to bed and rest properly, because otherwise I would suffer.

How did I effectively handle difficult moments? I was lucky. I didn’t have to many, but I just told myself that particular sugary item is the reason I got here in the first place. And then when I walked away I’d tell myself I had done great.

What practices do I want to continue? I think that I will stick to paying attention to meals that it has good fat, protein and lots of vegetables. I have not drank coffee either. I would like to stay away from sugary products.

What do I want for myself going forward? I would like to continue to lose more weight and make this part of daily life with the food choices.

It was a good 10 days. I did learn a lot. I learned mostly about my own impulse controls. I could sustain myself on the diet and I didn’t starve. I have convinced my husband of changes in his diet as well. My family tried different food. I made homemade kale chips last night and everyone ate them and said they were good. That was awesome.

I’m off to a birthday party. It is the true test…wish me luck.


Dear Spirits – Shooting Stars

Truthful blog means that you can’t lie. I did not see any shooting stars besides a bit of fire works but it was Canada Day here. So, I asked what can I write about in this post. I remembered the time I really did see a shooting star and felt that was the story to share with you.

As I was growing up my mom travelled a few times to visit her brothers in Toronto. Her one brother in particular she would stay with and would have such a great time with him and his wife. We never got to go on those flights. But, one time for a wedding we drove through the United States and came up around to Toronto. I got to meet my Aunt Julia. She was a spitfire of a woman. She would tell it like it is. She would feed you until you literally closed your eyes and your mouth. My mom thought the world of her.

I later travelled to Toronto on my own to spend some time visiting with my mom’s side of the family. I got to know them, but it isn’t easy. I don’t speak Polish and for some of them they don’t speak English. But, we still seem to communicate. I know enough words and can understand more then I can speak, so it works out.

We received an invitation to a 50th anniversary for my aunt and uncle. I told my husband we should go with the girls. We will make it a trip and go to this anniversary. We did. My aunt and her friends partied more then the young people. We went back to their home. My uncle was back not long after, but his wife was still dancing and drinking. We laughed because he lovingly mocked her dancing around and then swatted his hand and shook his head.

It was many years later and she passed away quite suddenly. I couldn’t fly out. We had some flowers sent. It was winter time and it was the day of the funeral. I was in our basement adding more wood to the fire. We have a wood room so there is plenty of wood packed in the house. I had thought of her many times through the day. I knew her family was grieving her loss. She was so much fun and so vibrant. But, for whatever reason I got this urge to open the basement door to the outside. I did. I looked at the starry sky and a shooting star passed just at that moment. Her name passed through my mind and I burst into tears. There she was. I closed the door and wept.

Thank you for the reminder of that story. She was a great lady and I am so glad she had this big life. She was that shooting star that night.

Detox Day 4-6 – Camping

You have no electrical power. Do you think you’ll still here the blender in the woods? Hell no! Not on this camping trip. No SMOOTHIES! I feel liberated. I could eat real food for breakfast. Oh ya, oh ya, oh ya. Happy dance is completed.

I was nervous about trying to maintain the detox during camping. Camping consists of hot dogs around the fire. Marshmallows, alcohol and other treats and sometimes even alcohol in the marshmallows. It is usually an indulgence weekend. I contacted some friends on advice and they asked me are you planning to continue with this after the 10 days. I said yes, a version of it. One of my lovely friends said, “One bad food day won’t make you obese and one good food day won’t make you a supermodel.” She said don’t deny yourself if you’d like a little treat and then carry on with your healthy eating. OK! And yes, I know its a detox, but this camping trip was sprung on me the day before and I didn’t want to say no to my family for my food issues.

Day 4 – No escape. I had my smoothie, but I knew for 2 days approaching that I was going to be free of my baby food. I had some errands and packed up our camper. We headed out to the lake to watch rodeo and go boating. I exercised. I ate well, but supper turned out later then normal. My friend and I prepared lots of healthy choices. It was great. No big deal.

Day 5 – The sun rose. I went for a run. I prepared a real breakfast. I had kale salad with avocado and eggs. Oh yum. I did have a major treat at lunch though. I ate a smokie that had been roasted on the fire. I not only got high fat and preservatives but some burnt carcinogenic material on my smokie, but it was so good. No bun. I mixed it with veggies. Supper was late and was able to enjoy some steak, but with lots of veggies. No chips or junk food for me.

Day 6 – I went for a run. My last day here and I rejoiced in my real breakfast. The smoothie was a distance memory. I had a bit of a treat in my eggs. I did a scrambled egg with tons of veggies, but then added a bit of bacon. Bacon is by far the most amazing thing ever. It was so savory the miniscule amount I had. We headed home and I was able to be more back to normal by lunch and supper.

There was a few treats, but meal time was all over the place. I did well over all. It has really made me aware of all the snacking and how I am always trying to fill. No coffee. I just brought my green tea/ginger mix. No detox baths, but I had an amazing shower. I don’t need all of the stuff. We are so pushed to have sugar and snacks. I don’t know the numbers but I would guess that the money made on cookies, chips and pop is a huge business and they have lots of power. Natural is best. Don’t get caught in the hype of a billion dollar business that doesn’t care about your health. Choose carefully!

Detox – Day 1-3

There’s a lot I hate about the detox. I hate the smoothies. I hate taking baths and you are supposed to do the detox bath. I miss coffee. A lot. But, there has been some interesting changes.

Day 1: smoothie from hell. It had mint and lime in it so my mind wandered to a mojito, but with kale it was more like scum on a pond. So gross. I had my excellent salad with protein and good fats. I was good at work. I missed coffee but I drank green tea with ginger and it helped me feel like I was having something. I had my supper and then went to a soccer windup filled with hotdogs, cookies and ice cream. I had none of it. I felt pretty good and thought I can do this….

Day 2: smoothie was better, made a different kind, so that helped. I felt really weak and shaky when I first woke up. This day proved to be the detox day. I felt ill. I was so exhausted. The book says to feel better about it because it means it’s working. I couldn’t keep my eyes open but had a fitful sleep. I really had concerns if this was the best choice for me.

Day3: gagged down another smoothie. I still felt weak and shaky in the morning. But, overall it was more tolerable at work. I had made the cauliflower soup, but again texture is important to me. It reminded me of the smoothie. It was like baby food. I made supper later and went for a run. I felt I had some energy back and was able to get some stuff done.

Overall I have learned some things about myself. I hate food that reminds me of baby food. I like chewing. I realized how much I relied on coffee to keep me awake. I went to sleep earlier. I am a snacker. I can eat fairly well in meals, but I like grabbing of few of these and a few of these. I like sweet foods too. I miss eating my apple at work. I miss cheese. But, I have lost 5 pounds so far. It seems crazy. I have been exercising every day. Day 2 exercise was a walk because I felt so crappy, but by Day 3 I felt better.

It is Day 4 and I am going camping. I will stick to it as best as possible. I am packing healthy food and since there’s no power on site then I may have to forgo the smoothies for a chewable version of them. So excited for that. But, I think it is possible.

#detox 6.5 days to go

I Said Yes

My friend said, “I think you should do the 10 Day Detox with me!” My first thought was no. But, ego is always saying no to these changes, so I said yes. I bought the book, but the more I read the less I was feeling great about it. I told her I am starting tomorrow. I said if I read the whole book I will not want to do this. I will follow the 10 days. I will read the book as I go. I got it on the Kobo reader so I won’t eat the pages of a real book.

The Blood Sugar Solution. 10-Day Detox Diet by Mark Hyman, M.D. is the book that I got.It says things like no sugar, no coffee, no alcohol, no dairy, no gluten and no fun. I said the last time that I was non-drinking was like from 0-14 years of age. So, I figured I can do no alcohol for 10 days at 40. Cross fingers. The part I have the most trouble with is coffee. I am going to miss that the most. It explains what sugar does in the body and how certain food causes inflammation. It makes a lot of sense. And then the fear kicks in. The ego telling me that oh big deal, you aren’t going to die tomorrow. Why do you have to do this? It will take forever to prepare the food. But, a small voice tells me it is just 10 days. I got this. It will be ok. There is lots of veggies to eat. I won’t be hungry. The worst part will be the first couple days and the best part will be the results.

I am going to do the poor man’s version of this 10 day detox. I don’t want to buy all the stuff that he says, and I have stuff in my garden that will be great to work with too. I looked over the meal plans and feel that I can do them, or a version of them and follow the recommendations. I am not a fan of smoothies, but I will give them a try. I like chewing my food and smoothies in the morning are usually gag worthy. But, I’ll put an umbrella in it and call it festive. I will try some of the meals, but will have to do some basic meals for lunch at work.

But, the tricky part is there is questions. So, here’s my attempt to answer them.

Why? Why am I doing this detox? I need a change. I love baked goods. I love coffee. I like a glass of wine. I am not over the top, but I also am not doing my body any favors.

What do I hope for? I hope to see a change after the 10 days. I hope I feel amazing. I hope I can raise my vibration to my Higher Self.

What are 3 specific goals? To work out every day for the 10 days. To not feel hungry by the end of 10 days. I hope to shrink some belly fat.

What are the top 3 things that hold me back from losing weight? busy life, motivation, sugar love

What beliefs do I have that might be holding me back? I do not have the time.

What is my relationship with food and how would I like to nourish myself? I enjoy food a lot. I have learned to equate it with how to love others. And I’d like it if my nourishment came from a spiritual place and not the fridge.

How does being overweight diminish my happiness and from my ability to fulfill my life’s purpose? If you eat unhealthy food you can’t connect with your Higher Self as easily. You need to eat purely to make your body as receptive. I’d like to see if this can happen. Overall, I’m not unhappy, but I know I can feel better and that my body is capable of more.

What positive experiences have I had in the past that resulted from eating well and practicing self-care and nurturing? I felt strong and powerful. I felt that I could do what I set my mind to do.

I won’t lie. I think an angrier version of myself will emerge the first few days. The one that is ticked about no coffee and lack of food. But, I will keep pushing and count down the days. The hope is that after 10 days I will see the difference and want to continue with the awareness of my food and my Self. I will keep you in the loop.

Ego Be Gone

My ego:

Not wanting to ask for help.

Not willing to be with other people, choosing to be alone.

Not speaking my truth.

Keeping secrets.

Keep my gifts hidden.

Feeling better than others.

Saying no when I mean yes.

I need to remember that my thoughts influence everything in my life. The thoughts that convince me that the people I love will be mad if I do that. Fearing what could happen even when I haven’t decided yet.

Fear in general.

I keep making baby steps in all of this, but I get the feeling that I have to be bigger and bolder. I have to open my heart to more. More healing. More passion. More love. More giving. More humor. More activity. More everything.

I’m scared as hell. But, the truth I have to remember in when I do take a step forward nothing crazy happens. The anxiety I feel goes away. I am slowly breaking free, but it isn’t enough. It is time to take a huge leap.


Dear Spirit – Coin


I’ve watched too many movies because when you ask for a sign you sometimes feel that the clouds roll in and the lightning will strike. It hasn’t worked that way for me. I don’t doubt that there is spirit out there, but I sometimes fail to ask or allow them to do their work in showing me. I was making more of an attempt to ask for a sign and then typically I ask for assistance to pay attention. This particular one was about coins. it wasn’t long after that I saw the picture on Facebook. It showed the dime on the pillow and I realized that I couldn’t ignore it. It was the first sign of coins. But, it wouldn’t be the last.

I rarely drive my husband’s truck. There was no reason to drive it except when my father called about cleaning at the cemetery. I wanted to take the grass trimmer and other lawn care tools. We took the truck. We (2 out of the 3 children were there) cleaned the grave sites while my father supervised. My mother is buried there along with my dad’s side of the family. There will be a graveside service and it has been a tradition each year cleaning and adding flowers. We came back and I cleaned out the truck of all the cleaning supplies. But, then I started tidying up all the other garbage my husband had in there. I grabbed tiny papers in the cup holder and there was a dime underneath. I stared at it thinking from the Facebook post that the picture was a dime as well. I felt joyful to find it. Thank you.

I was cleaning the house because I had been neglecting it for the past few days. I was enjoying long weekend summer freedom but it was time to get to work. I was using my central vac and was in the one bathroom and noticed something shiny on the mat. It was a dime. The dime on the pillow seemed to show the common theme I was seeing now. Dimes.

Thank you for showing me the coins. I feel like spirit was strong especially with my mother and my aunt. I will be visiting their graves today. Thanks to them for showing me they are still with me and giving me peace and comfort.


Dear Spirits – Touch

I have always believed that the wind cured everything. I walk down the trails on our property and will feel the breeze whip around me and I’d feel lighter. The air would grab onto the bits of negative energy hanging on after my day and whisk it away into the abyss.

The particular week that I asked to be shown “touch”, which could be a gentle breeze or goosebumps. It was ultimately one of the busiest weeks this spring/summer for me. I had been working, coming home for 20 minutes and then running for soccer games. I coach one of the teams so it is really hard to miss any of them. It would be late by the time I got home. But, each night I would try to sneak off for a brisk walk out on our trails. It seemed the safest choice with the lack of light. I may startle an animal, but walking on the road at dusk with vehicles driving seemed more dangerous.

I’ve been trying to pay attention to moon cycles. I’m trying to figure out whether to howl at it or that my period is coming. But I have felt change coming. I was having some big thoughts about what I will do after soccer. Summer holidays for the kids was happening very quickly. I have been too busy for my passionate work from painting to spiritual energy healing. I felt a bit lost. It came upon me quickly this strong wind. It blew through the trail and swirled around. I smiled thinking of the signs and symbols.

So, each night I went out for my walk and every night I was greeted with a little breeze that would blow around me and then settle down. It blew leaves onto my path. But, what it truly did for me was to leave my worries and fears on the path. Anytime I’d feel a lot of worry and concern the wind would blow strong. It would throw a leaf in my face. I’d laugh and carry on.

I got it. I get it. Thanks for keeping me on the right path.