I had a shift in my mind. It initially drew out sadness because it wasn’t the first time I had heard this information. But, I soon realized that it is a key to unlock a door for me. A while ago I had watched Elizabeth Gilbert on a Super Soul Sunday and she talked about how you are given these nudges and inspiration to lead you on your path. If we ignore it then it will stop. Your muse will go silent in its attempts to shed light to your passions. I sat up straighter at that time thinking of that. I had read her book “Big Magic” and felt that need to do stuff. But, I always stop because the “stuff” that I am inspired by is out of my comfort zone. I get fearful of trying. I can accept failure. I can accept success. But, what usually keeps me gripping my glass of wine in the confines of my home is just the willingness to try.
Last night I am reading “Ask Your Guides” by Sonia Choquette. There’s a brief chapter about this same thing. Your guides will give you inspiration, but if you don’t act on it then it may move onto another open soul that is more willing to do it. Or the idea will just die along with your lack of attempt. The sadness came upon me and a bit of shame. I got a small flashback of all the ideas I have ever had and that is how they stayed. It is like I can see the idea and then my mind runs through it. It seems so good and I feel happy and if I don’t do it right then and there that is exactly how far it will go. The other aspect that Sonia talks about is how you may have had an idea and then never acted upon it, but then later see that someone else did and had great success. You get that sense that they stole it from you, but reality is that they were inspired and did it.
The sadness couldn’t stay for long and so I reminded myself that hearing this same message again and again is a blessing. It means that my guides haven’t given up on me. They are hoping that I get it sooner, but are good with later. I just haven’t taken the inspiration seriously. But, I have realized that it is like they give me a gift and I set it on the table and never look at it again. I really need to sit with it and decide to do something with it. Yes, sometimes I will still not be able to do it, but there are times that I make up excuses not to do it and mostly just tell myself I will have time later. I’ve been waiting for later my whole life. When I get the time I don’t have the time.
Since my fears have been so unassuming for so long it is hard to recognize them as a bad thing. They always seem so protective from harm, but all they seem to do is make a life not worth living. Fear to try. Fear to look like a fool. Fear to be turned to for the answers. Fear of hatred. Fear of love. And so I ask for help to take these fears away and inspire me so greatly that I will have no way to say no.