I love the rhythm in my life because I can tap my foot to its beat. I have heard several different rhythms in my life and nothing compares to this one. I notice that having awareness that is beyond me, and not only in self has created a new assortment of tunes that play in this body. I feel the energy of others and their rhythm plays with mine. It is like this fantastic orchestra. What is this rhythm? It is the vibration of energy. We are all made of it. Our energy is what people respond to even if they don’t speak to you. It is what creates a charge between lovers, or a stranger that becomes an instant friend. It is what we can’t see but what we feel. My rhythm is changing, but always improving. This doesn’t mean my life is perfect, but that is imperfectly perfect. Problems, stresses and concerns are still there, but the ability to manage it has improved.
Years previous I had rhythms that would have depicted my chaos. My mother’s death is a good example of so many emotions brewing inside me. Sober, I would have covered my ears and tried to hide from it, but it would follow me. My mind would feel crazy and I would have blamed all of that feeling on others. Drunk, I would have tried to drown it out, which may have worked for a while. But, it would never last.
I’ve had times of depression when the rhythm would have been exactly that, depressing. It would have crescendo like waves, but only bleakness and sadness cascading all around me. Happiness would have been elusive since the rhythm would have felt painful and alive. It is like turning the light when your eyes have adjusted to the dark.
Then the rhythm that is most difficult to pinpoint is the one that you don’t notice. It is constant but you are so distracted. Life has focused you only on getting up, going to work, coming home and going to sleep. Or, it is about doing things for others and doing nothing for you. It is being so unfocused on what life is truly about and that can cause the most pain. This is where if you can catch a rhythm that you ask yourself a question, “What am I doing?” “What is my life about?” “Why am I with this person?” “Why have I cared about all this stuff? Why have I lost all my friends?” “Why am I alone?” “Why am I here?” .
At my age, which is 40, so many people have asked those same questions. Life seems too short. You don’t want to waste any more time. If you have a family children seem to show the years going by in an increasing rate. But, it also is a warning not to wait for your children to move out before you answer some of your own questions. Can I answer them? I write this blog as a testament to what I have discovered in my own life. If I write this and tell you my story and make you see something different in your life and make you hear your own rhythm then I am serving my purpose.
So, maybe it’s time to hear your own rhythm in your life. What is it telling you? Where is your focus? What is the common thread in your life? Listen and start grabbing the beat. If you don’t like it, change it. It is time.
Sending light and love to all of you!