Curiosity has brought me here. I entered 2016 saying that I would get back into the blogging world. I have such interesting things that rattle around in my cerebral cortex, but when I have a moment it seems the great idea has passed. It may explain the several posts that are saved into draft. I went to a chakra workshop today and it dawned on me after that I had a great idea that my phone could write some notes for me and so I commanded my British male Siri to dictate for me. He did and very eloquently I might add. So, finally I had my ideas to then have for this post.
As for my story, I received an email about this chakra workshop and immediately replied back to my yoga studio that yes, I will go. I honestly did not read much about what it was about, but just the date and what I should bring. My goal is to try something new when the opportunity arises. I went there with no expectations except a curiosity for chakra knowledge and an open mind.
It was a great workshop. As we went through the chakras she would talk about each one, we would do a small meditation and then the yoga instructor would take us through yoga poses to open that chakra. I got to Chakra 5, which is the Vissudha chakra which is the throat chakra. This is always the one that I have struggled with because it falls into speaking your truth and as well as hearing the truth. The meditation went well as well as the movements. I was feeling good because it went better than I expected. We then moved on the Chakra 6, Third Eye, and it talked about pattern recognition, intuition, dreams and visions. Now the Third Eye is like this magical chakra that I imagine like the Cyclops with an eye that blinks right on the forehead. It seems to be the one that others have always talked about focusing on, but what I have learned about chakras is that all need to be open. They all need to be in balance and with flow. Energy needs to move to the root as well as up and beyond. But, in between Chakra 6 and Chakra 7, Crown Chakra, I had a thought about an idea that I have been wrapping my brain around.
My one daughter is almost 14. She is quiet and hates speaking up in class. It says it on all her report cards since she started in school. She wants to be in control. She tells me all the time, “I don’t want to stand out. I just want to fit in. I don’t want to be in the front of the class. I don’t want them to make fun of me.” But, when it comes to horses, she doesn’t care that she doesn’t know it all. She feels confident on the horse. She hasn’t taken classes. She hasn’t read much on the subject, but she is open to learn by the examples of her father or other horse persons in her life. She isn’t an expert, but she has it. The “it” is the ability to feel sure about something.
I felt that way about art when I was her age. I felt confident. Then as I moved on to a greater awareness of life it fell away. The greater awareness was not some amazing spiritual path it was just longing to fit in with friends, the next party and if the boy likes me or not. My art slid past me so quietly and quickly I can’t quite pinpoint its time that it was there and when it wasn’t. 25 years later as I fought to bring it back in my life, I see how much I have changed since then. At 12, I felt so amazed at my ability. It is when I conquered being able to draw the human face and body. I found out I could look at a picture and draw it. It was as easy to me as my daughter riding her horse. Years went by and I am riddled with not feeling adequate. I’m not good enough. There are many artists better than me. But, as I have read books, articles and listened to friends I have slowly made it a priority in my life. So, recently it came to me that I have this idea that to be a good teacher or to lead others I need to have a real education in something. Frequently, I have had moments of being told otherwise. I have taken a class or two in art. I have tried other mediums and some are good and others are not. I do not pledge that I know everything, but I feel confident in the work I do. I try new things. I read up on stuff I don’t. But, overall there is a comfortableness with doing it that even with not knowing everything it doesn’t matter. It just matters to do it. The is HUGE for me.
And I advise you that you don’t have to know everything about what you love to do, you just have to do it. We worry so much about others and what they think. The truth is: they don’t think about you very much if at all. Do what you love because it is just fun to do. Do it because it is a release of yourself. Do it because it feels better to do it then not. Do it not for the need of money, but because it fills a need within that is priceless.
Thanks to my lesson today brought to me by a great chakra balancing workshop.