Fear vs Excitement

img_3587What if I confused fear with excitement? It is a question that when I heard it the first time I couldn’t wrap my head around it. Ummm, no I think that’s fear. Just so you are not confused, this is not the fear that you feel in a back alley with someone standing in the shadows about to pounce. No. This is when you have a dream or goal and you suddenly find a million excuses and all the things that could go wrong so that you don’t even start. That part is the fear.  You should be excited. You should be able to start making plans and make the steps to fulfill your goal. It could be quick or take a long time, but there would be joy and passion behind it. But, that excitement quickly turns to fear. Continue reading

Rhythm is a Dancer

I love the rhythm in my life because I can tap my foot to its beat. I have heard several different rhythms in my life and nothing compares to this one. I notice that having awareness that is beyond me, and not only in self has created a new assortment of tunes that play in this body. I feel the energy of others and their rhythm plays with mine. It is like this fantastic orchestra. What is this rhythm? It is the vibration of energy. We are all made of it. Our energy is what people respond to even if they don’t speak to you. It is what creates a charge between lovers, or a stranger that becomes an instant friend. It is what we can’t see but what we feel. My rhythm is changing, but always improving. This doesn’t mean my life is perfect, but that is imperfectly perfect. Problems, stresses and concerns are still there, but the ability to manage it has improved.

Years previous I had rhythms that would have depicted my chaos. My mother’s death is a good example of so many emotions brewing inside me. Sober, I would have covered my ears and tried to hide from it, but it would follow me. My mind would feel crazy and I would have blamed all of that feeling on others. Drunk, I would have tried to drown it out, which may have worked for a while. But, it would never last.

I’ve had times of depression when the rhythm would have been exactly that, depressing. It would have crescendo like waves, but only bleakness and sadness cascading all around me. Happiness would have been elusive since the rhythm would have felt painful and alive. It is like turning the light when your eyes have adjusted to the dark.

Then the rhythm that is most difficult to pinpoint is the one that you don’t notice. It is constant but you are so distracted. Life has focused you only on getting up, going to work, coming home and going to sleep. Or, it is about doing things for others and doing nothing for you. It is being so unfocused on what life is truly about and that can cause the most pain. This is where if you can catch a rhythm that you ask yourself a question, “What am I doing?” “What is my life about?” “Why am I with this person?” “Why have I cared about all this stuff? Why have I lost all my friends?” “Why am I alone?” “Why am I here?” .

At my age, which is 40, so many people have asked those same questions. Life seems too short. You don’t want to waste any more time. If you have a family children seem to show the years going by in an increasing rate. But, it also is a warning not to wait for your children to move out before you answer some of your own questions. Can I answer them? I write this blog as a testament to what I have discovered in my own life. If I write this and tell you my story and make you see something different in your life and make you hear your own rhythm then I am serving my purpose.

So, maybe it’s time to hear your own rhythm in your life. What is it telling you? Where is your focus? What is the common thread in your life? Listen and start grabbing the beat. If you don’t like it, change it. It is time.

Sending light and love to all of you!

Message of Hope

We all struggle with the uncertainty. We get worried. We fret about finances, our children and our happiness. I worry with you. But, on my journey I’ve been shown that worry does nothing. It offers nothing. It only is self-serving. Worry has no way of making change. It can cause anxiety and pain. So, I ask myself the question, what will worry solve? It is like offering an emotion to something that is bothering you and then it does nothing to solve it.

I was checking out my competition on Instagram the other day. My competition you ask? Jenna Dewan Tatum. Yes, you heard it here, Channing Tatum’s other woman. He’s not ready to sweep me off my feet yet, so right now I will just be watching to make sure she’s on the up and up. As I scrolled through her feed I realized she is a bit of a soul sister of mine. And, what I really needed to hear at that moment was from a post she made acknowledging Oprah. It brought a tear to my eye because it made me remember what is truly important, and I need to share it with you.

Oprah: “I did an interview in the late 80’s with a mother who had watched her son die, and she said she climbed into bed with him, crawled into bed with him as he was dying, and his last words were: ‘oh…it was all so simple,’ and then he smiled. When she said that I got chills because I thought, “Yes, we are going to take our last breath and say “Why were we struggling all the time? Why were we swimming upstream, when all we had to do was just look at each other and accept each other for who each of us represents on the planet? Ah, it was so simple. I didn’t have to fight that hard. It didn’t have to be that hard.”

It may seem morbid, but it seems when we put ourselves in those positions that we remember the true path of our life. Life doesn’t have to be so hard. There are bills to pay and things to do. But, if someone you loved became sick and/or dying we know that those worries would seem trivial. Our focus goes back to the pureness of love. The hassles of life seem to feel so unimportant when it means the connection with another could be in harms way.

I just remind you that we have a job to do in this life, but in no way was our greatest concerns the vehicle we drive, or our bank statement, or how clean the house is or what clothes we wear. It is about love. Remember that and you can get through anything.

As Dolly Parton would say, “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”


Chakra and Awe

IMG_3132Curiosity has brought me here. I entered 2016 saying that I would get back into the blogging world. I have such interesting things that rattle around in my cerebral cortex, but when I have a moment it seems the great idea has passed. It may explain the several posts that are saved into draft. I went to a chakra workshop today and it dawned on me after that I had a great idea that my phone could write some notes for me and so I commanded my British male Siri to dictate for me.  He did and very eloquently I might add. So, finally I had my ideas to then have for this post.

As for my story, I received an email about this chakra workshop and immediately replied back to my yoga studio that yes, I will go. I honestly did not read much about what it was about, but just the date and what I should bring. My goal is to try something new when the opportunity arises. I went there with no expectations except a curiosity for chakra knowledge and an open mind. Continue reading