If It Were Like The Movies

My favourite scenes in movies are the ones that the actor shows what he would like to do but doesn’t really do it, such as Arnold Schwarzenegger in “True Lies”. He takes a test drive with a man he suspects is cheating with his wife. He smashes his face on the steering wheel, but in fact he doesn’t really do it. It implies he wanted to bounce his head like a basketball in a crushing nose kind of way. If you aren’t as old as me 😉 then you might know Ben Stiller’s movie “The Secret of Walter Mitty” in that he daydreamed what he wished was really going on. I’ve had these moments. It happens with a blink of an eye not like a 30 second dream in a movie. One punch to the throat or kick in the balls is over in a second. The unsuspecting victim doesn’t know it, and I feel some strange satisfaction for having my moment of revenge. Then, my feng shui, chakra-balanced, meditative mind comes into play and I think, yikes, that is not good Karma of you. Let’s imagine we give them a hug instead. Virtual spiritual hug! No actual touching required. 

 Or how about those montages in the movies, such as they work out steady for like a minute pumped up with Finger Eleven* in the background and at the end has lost weight and is all buff. No, that doesn’t happen? Darn it. I really wanted that one to be true. But, seriously, the montage of them getting dressed for a big event and having a hundred different outfits and some sassy retail staff waiting on them hand and foot. I would like this one to be true. I’d love to have the money and time to clap my hands together while they brought me outfit after outfit all the while sipping champagne and charging up the plastic. But, I consider that the next time I go and need a dress and start flinging the 25 dresses and do a little number every time I opened the door would probably have mall security be the ones helping me out of the store. Have you ever really tried to put on that many outfits? After one outfit my hair goes frizzy and when I have to mutter to the 18 year old staffer that I need a bigger size and we exchange the attempt-outfit over the door I don’t even bother coming out to parade my outfit. If I can zip it up it is in the consideration pile. 

 Love-making in the movies, ya right……. enough said. 

 The one that really does get me everytime is the escape-trip to find yourself. I really believe that those moments I wish were real. “Under the Tuscan Sun” is by far a movie that depicts all reasons to get away. I was just googling yesterday on going to Tuscany. Diane Lane’s character goes there for a trip and stays. The people. The food. The character of the country changes her life. It makes it seem that if you ran away to escape the endless reasons which mostly is break ups and bad decisions that all problems will be changed in a new and unforeseen way. Sigh. Look at Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote “Eat, Pray, Love” and took a journey of a lifetime to discover herself all the while with the intention to write a book. I read a facebook entry of hers or maybe it was the Super Soul Sunday interview that she said people stated that they took the same trip as she did but didn’t find the same kind of change she did. So, you are telling me that Julia Roberts played her in the movie version and that was not a step-by-step account of figuring out your life for the masses. Huh? (My inner soul says lay off the sarcasm.) C’mon, it was a depiction of her life. Plus the movie didn’t capture the greatness of the book. An escape is what you make of it. I could dream of Tuscsny. I can go there. I may or may not live there for the rest of my life. I hope that when I’m there that I can keep the wondernment of its art and history forever alive in my heart. I could go to Bali. I could do the ashram in India. (Actually I couldn’t. No interest in that at all). But escaping is still possibly coming back to the same. It is truly what you change inside. I use to escape in the bathroom when my kids were little because it was the one door that locked to have a 2 minute break from my kids. It was no Tuscany. I guess if I had snuck a bottle of Italian wine and closed my eyes….. no that doesn’t sound good. As for escaping I realize that my life is a choice. I choose to find me in the midst of where we are raising our family. I escape to visits with friends or great laughs with the fam-jam. I may not get to run away to villas in the Italian countryside painting scenery but I could watch the movie again and get carried away in it and drink Italian wine.

Movies are just movies. Entertainment at its finest. Excuse me while I drive my kids to the pool sideways in my mini-van while there is vehicles exploding and as the cast of Glee comes out and starts singing “Ring of Fire” but a pop version. Ya, that’s an escape…..

*Finger Eleven, great Canadian rock band. Check them out. 


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