I had a friend ask a question that I think most everyone has faced in their life. It can have a different scenario or details but the question comes around to the same thing.
“How do I help others who are attracting negativity into their lives? I want them to become aware. I love them and want all the abundance for them in the world. I am in a place of peace and it is hard to watch them struggle. How can I help?”
“My mate is always so negative. I try to be so positive and pump them up with all the great things that I love about them. I feel like I am pouring out my heart and he just sucks up the energy. And nothing changes. He goes back to complaining and filling our home with negativity.”
You get the gist. How do you change this? How do you make things better for them? Easy answer, you don’t. Too harsh? Okay, there is a kinder way to deal with this without telling everyone “Be positive, you walnuts!” It is as easy to remind yourself that you have no control over them. Not one bit. Who do you have control over? Yes, you in the back waving your hand. “Me!!” Yes, you are the only one who has any control. Sadly, if you are being so called “positive” you are only being that way with restrictions that they change. Acceptance of others is a choice. Changing them is not an option.
The option that we do have is in our self. Imagine that I am a pebble. A shiny, bright, soulful pebble. I am a small beacon of light. I just am showing my awareness to the world. Me pebble self is dropped into the pool among the other other pebbles. The water ripples and touches the other pebbles by ways of compassion and kind words. If they are having angry or depressive actions I still give them my ripple effect. Then, it is their choice on what they do with it. Just like it is my choice what I do with their ripples they send my way. It is how we attract the pebbles that are needed in our life. We shift and change with the ripples. We move away from some and get closer to others.
The solution to how we can truly help others is to give yourself what you need first. Self-care. You must fill yourself up first and then you can give. You must take time to replenish when needed. It is found by not taking other peoples negative energy and making it your own. The wonderful quote that changed how I think about how people react and act towards me and to the world is the one I’ve attached. I feel like it created the understanding that when someone I care about gets stuck in a way of thinking and no amount of love you give them, support you send them, or hand holding makes them improve in spirit. It is because it is their path. And maybe on their path they need to suffer for a bit. They need to work through the storm. In some cases you are meant to be there to weather it out with them but others you are meant to leave and your leaving their life is meant for them too.
How do you know when you can’t help anymore? Don’t give more than you are willing to lose. You want to runneth your cup over to them until you are so resentful for them taking and taking? You want to offer your love to someone that can’t receive it? You give money expecting to be paid back? After time, you will know. You will always know when it’s time. That is life.
So, the conclusion is you love. You do the work for your Self. You fill up your cup that you are spilling and splashing and giving of the energy that overflows that cup to others. You may not even realize you are doing anything for them, but the sparkle of your light will shine into their dark places. Keep going. Don’t give up. You got this!