I am seeking my spiritual path. I am reading the books. I am meditating. I am practicing love and compassion. I am feeling conscious. Self-awareness is my middle name. This all works perfectly until I leave my house. I unexpectedly run into the ultra competitive mom at the game after school, the angry customer at the gas station, the cliché group at the coffee shop and then the screaming child that can’t find their favorite toy which of course they haven’t looked for yet. I shared a laugh with friends that want to be enlightened like the Dalai Lama, but the realization is that the Dalai Lama does not have to deal with 3 kids, husband, full-time job, volunteering, and running these 3 kids to their activities.
He’s enlightened and God love him, and He may actually love him a bit more than me, but I decided I would write my ideas of what would the Dalai Lama say if I spoke to him about my problems…..
So, how would the Dalai Lama deal with the over-competitive mother? Let’s ask.
Me: Dalai, what a horrible thing to say in front of the kids. She said her turtle could have ran faster than our team. I was pissed.
Dalai: “You must not hate those who do wrong or harmful things; but with compassion, you must do what you can to stop them — for they are harming themselves, as well as those who suffer from their actions.”
Me: So, am I supposed to hug her now or something? Are you saying I should give her love and compassion? She could use a swift kick of compassion in the C U Next Tuesday.
Dalai: “Only the development of compassion and understanding for others can bring us the tranquility and happiness we all seek.”
Me: I hugged her, but she called the police on assault charges. Could you maybe make a statement about your advice?
Dalai: “A truly compassionate attitude toward others does not change even if they behave negatively or hurt you.”
Me: Ummm….yah, well, so I should fill my heart with compassion for her? Okay. I will. try that. Could you scratch my nose? I can’t reach with the handcuffs.
So, how about that angry customer at the gas station….
Me: Get a load of that guy. He’s screaming because they ran out of his favorite scratch tickets. I think the clerk is going to cry. My anxiety level is going up. I want to tell him that he shouldn’t take out his negative feelings out on a stranger. How would you handle this Dalai?
Dalai: “It is clear that something is seriously lacking in the way we humans are going about things. But what is it that we lack? The fundamental problem, I believe, is that at every level we are giving too much attention to the external, material aspects of life while neglecting moral ethics and inner values. By inner values, I mean the qualities that we all appreciate in others, and toward which we all have a natural instinct, bequeathed by our biological nature as animals that survive and thrive only in an environment of concern, affection, and warm-heartedness-or in a single word, compassion. The essence of compassion is a desire to alleviate the suffering of others and to promote their well-being. This is the spiritual principle from which all other positive inner value emerge.”
Me: I think he left.
The cliché moms at the coffee shop….
Me: Here they go again. Gossiping about the other mom over there because she sent her child to a private school. I hate the gossip. I don’t want to judge. We make choices and we should have the freedom to stand by them. Oh great, they just patted the empty seat beside them and they are waving me over. They are just going to grill me. How do I handle people like this on a regular basis?
Dalai: “Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.”
Me: I must love them a whole bunch because I don’t need them.
Dalai: “Silence is sometimes the best answer.”
Me: I’m not sure if you understand , but I live in a small town. I can’t completely ignore them because I will see them at every school function, and every kids activities.
Dalai: “I defeat my enemies when I make them my friends.”
Me: I’m thinking enlightenment may be out of my comfort zone.
Last and certainly the loudest, the screaming child….
Me: Seriously, I am up to my eyeballs in making supper. I am helping 2 other kids with homework and child number 3 is screaming that he can’t find the stuffie that I can clearly see the leg sticking out of the couch right in front of him. I said please look for it. Mommy can see it. It’s in the couch. Number 3 starts pulling out the drawers that I have cleverly putting in papers for the past 2 years to show my husband that I can clean up. Number 3 is ruining my system by scattering papers everywhere. I want to scream. I need to breathe. Calm down. How should I handle this situation?
Dalai: “When we are motivated by compassion and wisdom, the results of our actions benefit everyone, not just our individual selves or some immediate convenience. When we are able to recognize and forgive ignorant actions of the past, we gain strength to constructively solve the problems of the present.”
Me: Number 3. Mommy forgives you. Mommy has wisdom. I feel some compassion. Could you please look by your bum and see Mr. Snookies is under the couch cushion. Uhhh, Dalai, he only seems to be throwing paper faster.
Dalai: “Because we all share this planet earth, we have to learn to live in harmony and peace with each other and with nature. This is not just a dream, but a necessity.”
Me: Did you hear that number 3? We are to live in peace and harmony. Oh I’m sorry Dalai Lama number 3 has a weak stomach when he cries for too long. Those shoes weren’t new?