Soulful Finding

I have great friends. I mean it. Really great friends. They each serve a purpose and seem to take over a part of me that needs their kind of healing, exposing and shining their light on me. I react to their insight like a kid in a candy shop: pure joy. They cheer me on, send me texts, lovingly goad me into being sarcastic and rejoice in my gutter talk, since they happily join me. If it wasn’t for these fine women I don’t know where I’d be.

It was with 2 of these friends today in particular that I found bouncing off thoughts and truths helped me come to my realizations.

I had great insight today over a part of my life that I have tried to understand over my many years. I always have been aware that I don’t fit in with society. I have always felt like I have been on the fringes of crowds, cliques, teams and family. I do know that I don’t want to be a part of it, because when I have taken the “fake it ’til you make it” approach I hate every aspect of trying to fit in with “them”. It is ugly and mostly for myself. I loathe who I have become and I still don’t connect.

I have never fit in with the humans, but a good soul gets me every time. Ahhhhh. Yes. I admitted today that I don’t get all the human activity. I don’t care about the hair or the clothes. I don’t like to gossip and make a conscious effort to be truthful about people and at times just stop conversations that want to chew up and spit out other humans. I have sadly realized after a conversation that someone was being mean to me because the whole time I couldn’t be bothered in the conversation. I was listening to the soul and oh my, was it telling me another story. As you were judging me and belittling my children to me your soul was telling me that you were in pain. You were asking for help and compassion. I listened to the soul as you kept going with your conversation to show me who you thought you were, but I was listening to who you really were. I in fact can hear it so clearly that I tend to forget your human agenda.

We are all trying to connect on a soul level, but mostly we mix up the soul with the human (ego). The difference between the two is simple, the soul is encouraging, kind, has your best interest at heart, knows all your secret desires and gifts you have to share along with guiding you down your spiritual path, which is your intuition or messages delivered in the gut. The human or ego delivers messages in worry or fear. It can appear kind, but will always have a hidden agenda, such as I use to help her with the book drive, but she never says thank you. So, I’m not doing it any more. It may seem innocent, but it is already laced with lack of compassion. We tell ourselves all kinds of stories on why we don’t love, why we don’t need to be kind, resentment, jealousy, and the strongest survive theory. Ego is fueled on believing in the more I have the better or happier I will be. The soul is about being happy with what you already have and you will be given more. Soul is love, Ego is not. I trust my soul. I believe in yours. My purpose is to have that awareness and if you are open to it I will help you along to your awareness.

“When the personality comes to serve the energy of the soul that is authentic power.”

This quote from Gary Zukov leads me back to my friends. Their personality melds with their soul and I connect with their soul which leads into growth, good times and spiritual awakenings. I cannot tell you enough that having a soul connection that is pure love for another is one of the greatest awareness I have seen and felt. Thank you to all the soul connections especially the ones I’ve had in the last few months. It has changed everything for me. It has made me step up and out. I know we have all we need within, but it is nothing if not shared.

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