I’ve noticed some patterns in my life of my rise and crashes. I can come off such a good high and then sabotage my feelings by saying I’m not good enough. It happens a lot to me. For example, I came off doing these readings and feeling amazing. It is like a puzzle piece fell into place and then my momentum falls away. I was hoping after all the good reviews that happened that I could get the ball rolling, but what I notice is that something inside me stops. I also feel I put out a projection of who I am which shows me as embracing lack, unworthiness and inability to allow more than I deserve which isn’t helping me move forward. A book fell in my lap, The Shadow Effect written by Deepak Chopra, Marianne Williamson and Debbie Ford, and it was exactly what I needed to hear or read at the moment. The shadow can be referred to the ego, or our shameful, vulnerable, or the secretive parts of us, it is the darkness of our human impulses which stops us from being whole, authentic, and feeling at one with the universe. Okay, that’s great. I will get some clarity on why I do the things I do….read book….finish reading…..I understand why I feel such resistance, but now what?
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